Saturday, April 28, 2012

Surviving a Master's Degree

Having two little boy's while Nathan has been gone a lot this semester for his master's has been tiresome to say the least. I have struggled with his absence, not only because we miss our daddy, but I miss my best friend. I wanted to be a parent with him, not by myself. Feeding them (especially James), putting them to bed, playing during the day, running errands, all without daddy, is hard work.
Anyone who says that being a stay at home mommy is not work, I'd like to leave you with my kids for a day.
These last three weeks have been the hardest. Of course they were the weeks leading up to Nathan's master's project presentation. He was missing key figures at work while they were in India for eighteen days for one co-workers wedding, and another partner got married and was on his honeymoon during that time. Doing work and school work has made Nathan MIA.
I pray that I'll never have to really do it by myself.
Yes there are tears daily, but there are good times, too.
Sometimes I wish that I was the one in school, learning new things, applying them by problem solving. Maybe again someday.
James playing with Simba and Nala

Jack-Jack giving smiles

Anyway, we still do things even though Nathan has been doing his master's project and write-up most nights. To keep sane (and fit) I like to head to the gym every morning to get a workout in, be it lifting weights, running, and usually a combo of both. That time to myself usually gets me through the day. Nathan has to stay home on weekends as well lately, so the boys and I go out and have adventures. We've been to Heber to help with Amy's baby shower at Aubreigh's house, doing yard work, and various holiday activities for Easter and Earth Day.
Cole and James at the Ogden Nature Center on Earth Day

I'm getting a good routine of doing "life" with two kids by myself. Other things we do include going to the park, and having James play with friends he has around here as well (and I get to visit with my friends while he plays with his), We visited Kirstin in Provo one day this month. Sometimes I get to see Kristie and Lilah in Provo, too. I even got a sitter and went out with some girlfriends on a Friday night to see The Hunger Games movie.
Aubreigh and Quinn came up to see us one week...
Soul sisters and Jack-Jack

Quinn hiding in the toy box

...then we got to meet them in Park City for some much needed shopping at the outlets another.

Aubreigh snuggling with Jack-Jack

I have to remember that things don't have to be perfect, such as the house or dinner or the lawn mowed. I do a pretty good job of keeping the house picked up, but I despise making dinner. And folding laundry.
James making the smoothie for us one night
I have to think each day are the kids happy, did we spend time together, are they fed, did I give them a kiss, do they know that I love them?
If I can answer yes to those questions, then I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

I love this quote, and it is perfect for this period in our life right now:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about dancing in the rain


Tiffeny said...

I'm grateful for this post. It's nice to hear that other people feel this way once in a while. I don't really like making dinner either and its especially hard with two kids whining at my feet. Anyway, glad you're human. :) I wish we lived closer so we could get together...

Life Is What We Make It! said...

I feel ya girl! I have no idea what I'm going to do when Josiah finishes this August. I was talking with him yesterday about how big of an adjustment it will be to have him around as a parent. Josiah mostly gets to do the fun things with Carson, while I do the nitty-gritty. Hang in there, and it sounds like the end is JUST around the corner. I still have 3+ months!!

Kerry Jane said...

Thanks for posting this. It totally helped me. The hubby is doing his PhD and I honestly don't know how other moms handle their husbands' absences all the time. So thanks for another perspective and ideas of what to do.

Kate said...

Kendra, you ARE doing fabulous! You guys are in a ridiculously hard phase right now! The good news is that the end is near and then things should be so much easier! I've only had short stints of having to do things on my own, and I agree.. I'm not cut out to do this by myself! It is hard work, and it definitely takes two parents! I'm glad you're surviving, and I'm glad you will admit that life is just HARD sometimes! :) Keep up the good work!