Our Road to Four

We are so happy to announce that we are expecting...our 4th boy!  He'll be the 4th son of the 4th son(Nathan) of the 4th son(well child at least, Alan)...and it stops there. And yes, he'll probably have a "J" name.  I had wanted something different, but Nathan pointed out that he'd feel left out, which is a good point.  His name will be announced when it is officially his when he's born :)  He's due August 15th (same day as two of his cousins which would be cool!), however, Jack and James were due in August (8th and 5th) and they both came July 21st.  By those calculations, and that Jonathan also came early...there is a good chance of another July baby.  I told Nathan it was a boy by giving him a note that rhymes when we attended the temple last month.  Then I told our boys by giving them a gift and inside were five matching ties...one for daddy and one for each of them including their new baby BROTHER!

The following is my story regarding the little bit of infertility that we have experienced.  It is not even close to being as long and hard as other people we know, but we have had to have medicinal help to get pregnant 3 out of four times.  I was lucky to find the doctor and women's clinic that I did.
Now, don't get me wrong, we haven't had it terribly bad trying to conceive because we are having our 4th.  However, I am one of the unlucky few that my first pregnancy was probably the cause to mess up my thyroid a bit.  My thyroid was off enough that after James was one year I became tired, REALLY tired.  I went to the doctor for some blood work thinking it was just anemia or the like, and was told I had a hypothyroid, and that I'd need to take Synthroid(levothyroxine) for the rest of my life.  Also, this makes some women not ovulate.  That made sense because the ovulation prediction tests I was using  (we were trying to have a second) never were positive.  I was lucky to find a very aggressive doctor who didn't make me wait a year of trying to conceive before giving me clomid to ovulate.  After 4 months of the single dose we were expecting Jack.  Yeah!  Then after awhile we wanted another, and I waited 6 months without the clomid then went to Dr. Housel again, and he prescribed it.  After 4 months of not working, he had suggested a double dose (which I thought yikes!), so I got the double the pills but only took one, and after another 2 months of that, we were expecting Jonathan!  A little bit more time and okay, we'll try again.  I even had gotten a positive on an ovulation test WITHOUT clomid, so we wanted to try to have a baby drug free.  Clomid can have some nasty side effects, for example it made me very moody.  Well, even though I was ovulating, it wasn't early enough in my cycle to make a difference.  After 5 months of tracking, I took the data to the doctor, who said that by these results, we'd never get pregnant without some help.  That was hard to hear.  Would it really be never?  Maybe.  But I didn't want to wait around to see.  So back on the clomid...for 6 months this time.  No baby.  Also even though I was ovulating, it still wasn't getting any earlier in my cycle. On to the double clomid.  Holy. Cow.  I understand people who commit a crime of passion.  I lost it on this drug.  What a single dose did to me was I lost that filter that people have of what you should say vs. what you shouldn't.  I just said it all most of the time.  What is worse is that I don't think I ever regained that filter back entirely.  It was a bit liberating really.  Well, double clomid made me angry.  Very, very angry.  I got so mad at Nathan the first month I was on it.  He was good and just took it, probably that was best.  He would come home and wonder "where is the girl I married because this isn't her".   Second month I was on it I literally attacked my little sister, pinned her against a wall and was winding up to punch her.  Turns out with Crossfit I'm pretty strong...Nathan heard all the yelling and screaming, and rescued her by putting me in a full nelson headlock to get me away (I am pretty strong).  I was able to see outside of myself on that one and was so sorry and ashamed, and luckily she forgave me.  This double dose wasn't going to work. I was also afraid of the side effects of it thinning my uterine wall, which then also makes it impossible to conceive.  At this time Nathan and I talked that maybe we were very blessed with 3 boys and this was as big as our family would be.  How far were we willing to go?  Maybe Nathan should be tested next? After all he had been biking a lot, and maybe that was effecting our chances as well.  I talked with the doctor and decided to try a different drug, femera, for a few months then we'd go off everything and take a break.  Well that month(November) I could tell that femera was different, because I could feel my ovaries getting ready to ovluate, and they hurt.  The ovulation prediction test came back very positive 4 days sooner than all those months on clomid.  That was significant.  And Nathan had taken a month off prior from cycling as it was after LOTOJA and he was a little burned out.  It all worked out at that time and now we are over halfway with expecting our next little one.  I must say though I thought I was having a girl because this pregnancy has been so different, most notably that I was sick all through the first trimester, and I wasn't with the other three.  It took some getting used to, but I am so excited and blessed to be able to be a mommy to four amazing boys.  It was when I was gluing together Jack's muskrat skull, very late at night, and glued my fingers to the skull, that the thought solidified in me that I really am a great mom to boys.  So let the adventure continue!